No OrIgInAlItY
by sf
Summary: And Time Again. And Again. And Again. And Again. And Again. And don't you just hate these school fics?
1. Default Chapter

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No Originality  
_In the proud tradition of No Angels and No Devils,  
On a slightly different vein._

Also known as :  
And Time Again, and Again, and Again, and Again, and Again...

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Disclaimer :  
Two words : Bad fic.  
**The Second Disclaimer :  
**Two more words : Mary Sues.

Rating : PG-13 for swearing and general nastiness.

Genre : Self-deprecating humor. I'm taking myself down and every single one of you who've hitched a ride on my fic are going down with me. Bwahahahaaa. 

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Chapter 1

It was a lovely morning. Sunlight streamed in through the window, refracted by the glass into a spectrum of colors, painting itself a rainbow on the white walls. Dust and butterflies danced in the light beam--

Sanzo : _WHAT ARE EFFING BUTTERFLIES DOING IN MY ROOM?_

And the author wrote the obligatory clock scene...

Sanzo : *looks at clock*

Sanzo : Oh shit~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!

Followed by the obligatory pack-and-go-scene...

Sanzo : Where the _fuck_ are my shoes?!

And the obligatory classroom scene...

Teacher : Genjo Sanzo. You are late for class. Again.

Sanzo : Screw you too.

Teacher morphs into fs [1] : Yay! You said it at last! *glomps Sanzo and refuses to let go.*

[1] -- No Angels reference. 

Sanzo : Oh shit. *whips out the Glorious Fan of Retribution, which bounces harmlessly off fs' numbskull*. 

fs : I wuvvvvvvvvv youuuuuuu~~~~~!!!!!!

The rest of the class, who always has to do this : *sweatdrop*. Sensei....

sf : *sniggering* Shotakon, sensei?

Muse : Sanzo, tactic number 2?

Sanzo : You know how much I hate that!

sf : ^____________^

Muse : ^____________^

Sanzo : F--ing A--! *sighs, smiles, and bats eyelashes at fs* _Anata..._

fs : Kyyyyyyaaaaaa~~~~~~~~~ *nosebleeds, swoons and dissolves into a puddle of fangurl drool*.

Sanzo : _Kami-sama_. I _abhore_ doing that... *glances around, to find that the rest of the class, guys and girls as one, have similarly dissolved into puddles of fanboy/fangurl drool*. Oh what the hell... *storms out of classroom*.

And upon stepping over the Threshold of Destiny, our glorious Genjo Sanzo houshi sama, reincarnated as an Angsty, Hormone-ridden Teenager, made acquaintance with the glorious Seiten Taisei Son Goku, reincarnated as an Angsty, Hormone-ridden Teenager...

Goku : *rushing into class late* *slams into Sanzo* Ahhhhhhhhh, sumimasen! *looks up. Eyes go big-big* Kyyyyyyaaaaaa~~~~~~~!!!!!

Sanzo : *nursing a bruise* What the-- *looks up*. *eyes go big-big*

And with what has been oft mistaken for a flash of recognition, regarded the youth whom he had so hastily encountered in this unusual fashion...

Sanzo : Not _another_ fanboy! *leaps to his feet and runs away*

Goku : *running after him* Matteru! _Matteru, Sanzo! Aishiteru!_

Sanzo : *screams and runs even faster*.

Somewhere else :

In a dusty library where even the brilliant sunlight does not penetrate, for it is circumscribed by the austere creation of mankind known by the uncouth name of 'Walls', a bespectacled student huddled in the farthest, coldest corner, barricaded from the world by the impenetrable armor of knowledge...

Hakkai : Hi, I'm Cho Hakkai, student librarian, and the shelf just collapsed on me. Could you give me a hand?

Somewhere else :

In the sleeziness incarnate (notice that the accuracy of vocabulary used has diminished to the point of no return) of the school, where many fear to tread and venture into only in the event of greatest need, one soul haunted its murky depths, terrifying all others who might seek to journey thither...

Gojyo : Hi, I'm Sha Gojyo, and I just _fell into the fucking toilet bowl! _Will you morons stop gawking and pull me out of here?!

And these two quaint characters, so far removed from the world, will make their appearence in the next chapter...

--


	2. 2

Oh look! They're at it again! My little research folder for 'No Originality' is getting new book marks. We have the Sanzo-tachi in High School, the Sanzo-tachi in college, the Sanzo-tachi in middle skewl, and the Sanzo-tachi as teachers! Reincarnation, flashback, _yadidahdidahyadidahdidah..._ go find your own idea! 

So, faced with this resurgence of evil, we have no choice but to break out our resident super hero... **No Originality!!!!!** Three cheers for using and reusing an idea into the *ground*!

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Chapter 2

An announcement breaks out over the P.A. system. 

"Dear all. We're taking a break from our regular programme of Sanzo-tachi in High Skewl to try something new [1] -- the Sanzo-tachi in _kindergarten._ Enjoy."

[1] New? But isn't this fic called 'No originalty? Wait a minute...

There is a flash of light, a gross misuse of tenses, and the Sanzo-tachi immediately become chibified. Their speech patterns, however, due to a gross anomaly in the system, remain largely unaffected.

***

Genjo Sanzo : *wailing and blubbering and pointing a shaky finger*. He... he _took my candy!_

Koumyou Sanzo : It's alright, Kouryuu. There's more where that came from.

Sanzo : _That's not the point!_

Koumyou : Then what is, sweetums?

Sanzo : He...he ran away before I had the chance to...to...to open a can of whoopass on him! *cries*.

Koumyou : There, there, it's alright. You can always do that when he returns to class. Oh, look. There he is.

*A scuffle is heard*. Eventually, Sanzo appears, grinning happily.

Sanzo : I got my candy back!

Koumyou : Well done. 

Sanzo : And two of his teeth too!

Koumyou : Well... done.

Gojyo : Bah. Anyone can do that. Although I'm surprised that a pint-sized runt like you can even fight, let alone defeat anyone!

Sanzo : I'm surprised that a stupid head like you can even come up with a sentence like that!

Gojyo : Shut up, mister top of the class!

Sanzo : You shut up!

*A scuffle is heard*. Hakkai appears. 

Hakkai : Don't fight! Fighting is bad!

Sanzo : _You_ tell me! You kicked the ass of one thousand school bullies and became a school bully yourself!

Hakkai : You don't say.

Gojyo : Yeah! I've heard of you! Give me a hand, willya?!

Hakkai : Why should I?

Gojyo : Because I lent you a pencil when you broke all of yours stabbing people's eyes out! Not to mention your *own* eye...

Hakkai : I guess----

Sanzo : Wait a minute! I was the one who supported you in front of the Three Principals! If not for me, you'd have been expelled a long time ago!

Hakkai : That's true... 

Gojyo : Don't listen to him!

Sanzo : Don't listen to *him*!

Hakkai : How about... I just walk away and pretend that nothing happened?

*Both Sanzo and Gojyo pause* 

Gojyo : He's a bastard, isn't he?

Sanzo : Yeah. 

Both : Let's kick his ass.

*A rather larger scuffle breaks out*

Goku : Hey look! A fight! Lemme, lemme, lemme!

Sanzo : Dumb ape!

Gojyo : Dumb ape!

Hakkai : Anou... etto... X_X

*Goku leaps into the fray*. 

Goku : Have it at 'em! Nothing like a good fight to start the school day...

Hakkai : I haven't done my homework. Would you be so kind as to cease this fight so that I may adjourn to class?

Gojyo : Hell, no! We haven't whooped your ass yet!

Sanzo : You haven't *what* his ass? 

Goku : GAY BOIS!

Sanzo : You? Gay? Hah! That explains *everything*.

Gojyo : What?!

Hakkai : *pissed off* _Shininasai, minna-san_. *blows everyone away with a ki blast*. *stalks off to class*.

Yaone : Hakkai-dono!

Hakkai : Yaone-san!

*They bow, kiss and go prancing happily off*

Hakkai : Yaone-chan... I .. er... when we grow up, I'd like to marry you.

Yaone : Hakkai-dono! *blushes* 

Hakkai : *uncomfortably*. You don't like me?

Yaone : No! I mean, no, I like you! *shyly* I want to marry you as well...

Goku : Wait, wait... does that mean that Hakkai is bi?

Gojyo : What happened to your _mind_, ape? It's in the gutter!

Goku : I learnt it all from you.

*Kougaiji storms in*

Kougaiji : CHO HAKKAI! Stop stealing my girlfriend!

Hakkai : You never laid claim on her! Yaone-chan, get behind me... I'll settle this!

*Yaone ignores him and runs towards Kougaiji*.

Yaone : Kougaiji-sama!

Sanzo : That girl is _confused._

Gojyo : So are you.

Sanzo : What the _hell_ did you mean by that?

Gojyo : I mean, you keep getting reincarnated as a girl. Can't you make up your mind whether you want to be male or female?

Sanzo : I am *so* going to whoop your ass.

Gojyo : No way. I'm the seme here.

Sanzo : Not in sf-land, you aren't. [3]

*Another fight breaks out. Hakkai and Kougaiji are already fighting*.

[3] In sf land, any pairing and any order is possible, because sf is confused.

*Koumyou Sanzo eventually decides to intervene*.

Koumyou : Now now, kids. Don't fight, or I'll have to drag all of you off into a shed and spank you. 

Kougaiji *shrieks* : Hentai! You're worse than Nii!

Koumyou : Oh, of course. I've dragged Nii into a shed and.. *ahem* ... _spanked_ him before, after all.

*At that, all scuffles cease miraculously and instantaneously*. 

Koumyou : Besides, you don't have to compete amongst yourselves. I've already chosen Genjo as my successor.

Sanzo : Sensei...

Gojyo : Damnit, Sanzo's always the teacher's pet!

Hakkai : Actually, I'm rather relieved. It was me or him.

Goku : Huh? But if he's Koumyou Sensei's student, he gets the special sutras...

Hakkai : Precisely. Thrice or four times the amount of work, _and_ direct supervision by the Three Principals. I'd rather not be the subject of scrutiny, thanks.

Gojyo : *shuddering*. Me too. He can take those sutras and stuff 'em.

Kougaiji : *fuming*. No! I want those sutras! I need them to show my mummy and my daddy, or they'll think that I'm not studying hard enough, and I'll get grounded for another 500 years! Hand over the sutras, Sanzo!

Sanzo : Make me.

*Another scuffle breaks out*.


End file.
